Frustrated Mother; Bad Temper

Yesterday, I got really mad at Kuya when we were preparing for school.  I woke him up but he was too sleepy to do anything.  He was just sitting there staring at his french toast until it was time to take a bath.  I didn't know why but I really lost my temper.  I was thinking: it's time to take a bath now and he has not eaten anything and if he will get hungry before recess time and the school bus* will be here soon and we're not ready and the other kids would have to wait. --Yes, all those thoughts simultaneously.  So I just lost it. I was screaming and he was crying as I dragged him to the bathroom.

I hated that it happened.  It does not happen often but when it does, I hate it. I hate it that I started his day like that.  The truth is it wasn't his fault and he did not deserve that. Good thing I had enough sense to talk to him and apologize before he left for school.  I explained that I did not mean to be too angry, that I just wanted him to have already eaten something before he leaves for school.  We finished in time and I just wrapped the toast in a napkin so he can eat it in the school bus on the way to school.

You see, mothers often mean well.  There is usually a good intention behind everything.  In this case, I didn't want my son to be hungry while studying and I didn't want him to still be unprepared when the bus arrives.  The problem is that, mothers sometimes fail at expressing those intentions through a compassionate manner.  That was also my own mom's problem.  Most of the time too, when mothers get really angry, it was not even because of what happened or what the child has done.  A lot of times it was due to her own frustrations about things that caused that situation.

As I've mentioned, it was not Kuya's fault.  This January Dad has to work in the night shift.  I have classes at night until 11pm and because of that, the kids have been sleeping late recently.  It has been a little difficult for them to sleep earlier since there is no parent to tuck them into bed.  I think it is actually unnecessary for Dad to be assigned in the night shift; they have had a morning schedule for years.  Recently, their management started alternating their shift each month and it has been most inconvenient for us.  This is actually the source of my frustration. 

What frustrations do you have that makes you lose your temper?



* here in the Philippines we call every type of school service a 'school bus' even if it usually is just a van